Underworld: Evolution (R)
Mike:
Scott:
Scott: Tonight we are reviewing Underworld: Evolution
, the sequel to the 2003 movie of the same name. That movie pitted the Lycans (werewolves) against the Vampires. This movie finds out heroine, Selene (Kate Beckinsale), betrayed by her own and out for revenge.
What did you think Mike?
Mike: We now know that there should only have been one Underworld movie. I wanted to like it, having loved the first one, but this one rubbed me the wrong way.
How about you?
Scott: I also wanted to like it. It started out strong, or maybe not strong, maybe it started out at medium strength. There was room to go either way and it went downwards from the beginning. Disappointing, I guess is a good word.
Mike: The beginning was a flashback to the 12th century, which seemed pretty cool. It quickly turned into a giant blurred gore fest.
Scott: Oh, are you one of those people that like to see what is going on in a scene?
Mike: I know. What is my problem? I stink. I think I will have to take myself outside and straighten myself out.
After the introduction we get to see Kate Beckinsale, the main reason I was there, and a brief recap of the first movie.
Scott: Those pleather outfits (if that's what they are), are very form fitting. You really have to look a certain way to pull them off. Kate does.
Mike: Kate is married to the director, Len Wiseman. I remember reading that there were some studio execs that said they thought she was a bit too much of a "mommy" to pull it off.
Scott: Hah, what in the world were they looking for?
Mike: Hopefully, those execs now have jobs at McDonalds.
Let me get this out of the way early. Anyone going to see the movie to see more of Kate than usual will not be disappointed.
Scott: You do get to see a bit of her, but I can't guarantee that some of the body parts in that scene weren't from a body double. That stomach was really flat, 'All I do in my life is work on my abs' flat.
Mike: Are you saying that Kate, like most actresses wouldn't have all day to exercise with a trainer? It's not like she's spending a lot of time rehearsing her acting or something.
Scott: Yeah, I doubt that is the case. She is a mom and all. Kate if you read this and it is you, then I apologize. And I want to meet your trainer.
One thing about the Underworld movies that I never got was that the Lycans change and look like badass werewolves, but the vampires merely have their eyes turn blue. Woo, you are scaring me with your blue eyes.
Mike: Yeah, but watching the Lycans change is like sitting through American Werewolf in London like 30 times. The effect was really cool 25 years ago.
Apparently, somebody told Len that a scene is not any good unless there is an explosion, something crashing through a wall/ceiling, or a ton of fake blood.
Scott: It's hard to be super strong in a movie like this. Everyone is getting thrown through walls, it's a wonder every house they visit doesn't crumble.
Mike: It's a wonder anything was left standing after all the crashing and shooting. That's another thing. They make a point of telling us that regular bullets can't kill the Vampires and Werewolves, but it doesn't keep everyone from shooting millions of rounds into them.
I want to know where you can find a clip that holds a gazillion shots like the ones in this movie.
Scott: The endless clip thing gets a bit old after the 10th scene without reloading.
Mike: When they actually reload it's not clear where the new clips are coming from. The pockets in Kate's skintight outfit perhaps?
Scott: If she has clips on her then she must have an invisible ammo belt. Maybe her corset doubled as an ammo belt?
Mike: Maybe she keeps her invisible ammo belt in her invisible plane? Oh wait, that's Wonder Woman, never mind.
Scott: Scott Speedman returns as Michael Corvin, and in this flick we get to see a bit more of what he can do. He is really strong and can take a licking and continue ticking. He can also survive multiple gunshots AND being thrown through walls.
Mike: I will admit that the back story about the Corvinus family is actually pretty interesting.
Scott: True. They wove this story really well into the folds of that first movie, even using some of the first movie's footage.
I remember now what happened to the Dad. He was infected with some virus (the plague maybe?) and he survived, but it changed his blood (DNA or something).
Mike: Well that certainly clears things up or something.
Scott: He passed his genes onto his boys and they were subsequently bitten, one by a wolf and the other by a bat. I guess Daddy didn't watch the kids that much if these wild animals keep biting his kids.
Mike: Mommy never gets mentioned, so maybe Daddy had his hands full.
Just to be nice, I will mention (as usual) that the score was actually pretty good. Looks like the composer Marco Beltrami is a veteran of a number of action films like Red Eye and Kingdom of Heaven.
Scott: I thought the score was as creepy as it needed to be. It was a bit mystical in places and energetic in others. Well rounded overall, but it is probably a score that would not live well on its own.
Mike: I also have to mention that two action scenes seem very seriously borrowed from Raiders of the Lost Ark:
1. The truck scraping against the wall, while the two guys fight scene.
2. The 'Let's have a fight next to a spinning propeller' scene.
If you can't make a great action movie, at least copy one.
Scott: I didn't think about that, but they were similar. This was a bit more bloody though. They went through a lot of fake blood in this movie.
Mike: Yeah, unfortunately I think the other movie Len decided to borrow from was his wife's movie Van Helsing.
Scott: She looked a lot different in that movie than this one. So much so I didn't even recognize that was her.
Mike: I couldn't even finish watching that masterpiece.
Scott: Van Helsing was dark, as was this movie. I guess movies that feature Vampires have to be dark though.
Mike: Yes, it also overused CGI, much like this movie.
So how do you rate this?
Scott: I give it a 2.5 overall and a 3.5 for fantasy. It had enough CGI, back-story and fighting to make it a good fantasy, but the lack of good dialog hurt it in the overall category.
Mike: I give it a 2 overall and a 2 for fantasy/horror. This might be a rental... maybe.
Scott: I would like to get the DVD to hear the commentary from Wiseman about what he was thinking with all of the fighting. "And here, he hits him so hard, he goes through a wall!"
Mike: "Look this time he is falling through the floor!"
This Underworld might best be left buried.
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